My Monday

Okay so you know why we can't tell ourselves that we'll just "take a day off" and get "right back on it tomorrow"? Because when tomorrow comes, we don't want to get back on it. We have enjoyed the freedom of eating what we want and how much we want. We have enjoyed not writing things down and measuring everything we put into our mouths. So, inevitably that one day turns into another and another and another.

So, I told you that I had a bad food day on Sunday and gave into eating one of hubby's burgers off the grill. Well, I had TOTALLY planned on getting back on track yesterday. I had even gone to the grocery store and bought the fixings for a nice, healthy dinner. Then I got home, did my chores, took a shower and made the mistake of laying down on the couch. I had been really wore out from my hectic week last week and last weekend and I briefly dozed off. That laziness led to a complete disregard for my healthy dinner and I ended up taking the easy route and heating up one of the leftover burgers. Of course, I snacked before my dinner and then had a burger and potatoe wedges for dinner, completely blowing it again!

The mental aspect of food addiction is crazy. I was just blogging last Thursday about how I didn't eat ENOUGH that day and was really satisfied on my plan and had gotten into my groove. Then one social event and my whole outlook is shot! Its like I did so good at the baby shower that I felt deprived so I went home and ate something bad to make up for what I didn't eat at the shower? Does that make any sense?Then, I gave in another day because I was a little tired and cranky after my nap so I decided to blow it.

I have to learn how to deal with being around less than healthy food. Hubby is rail thin and does NOT eat healthy. There is always going to be (short of legal separation..lol) the temptation of unhealthy food in my house and at social gatherings. I have to learn to deal with it better.

So, then of course after cheating Sunday and Monday I felt totally guilty and like I failed. And of course, I have had a Ben & Jerry's craving for DAYS now! So, my thoughts last night were that I would just cheat "one more day" and get myself that Ben & Jerry's and some Cheetos. But I have been down this road enough times to know that it wouldn't stop at one more day. That one more day would turn from Tuesday into Wednesday and by then it would be Thursday so why bother starting a diet on Thursday, I'll just go ahead and wait until Monday..Right? We've all been there right? And before you know it, I will have wasted a whole week on bad choices.

My mindset yesterday at dinner time when I chose to have that burger instead of the healthy meal that I had planned has taught me something about this journey. It has taught me that no matter how well I'm doing, or how much I'm into the groove, that temptation and old habits can always bring me back to a bad place. If I let them. And this time I did let them. I'm not proud of it but all I can do is pick myself back up and move on, hopefully in a more positive direction.

I'm re-planning that healthy dinner for tonight. And, I'm looking forward to it. I'll let you know if it all worked out tomorrow.

Have a great day!

Stacy